Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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