who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
