If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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