yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
