she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
