He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
