Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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