i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize