im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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