Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
