She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
