i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize