If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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