ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
