If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
