You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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