Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
