I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
