thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
