My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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