pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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