so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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