just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
