Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
