It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
