just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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