Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my shit smells like andre
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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