sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
