he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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