rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
