JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
