You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
