I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
