So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize