I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
