so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
