quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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