Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Fuck appropriateness.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
