i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
