If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
