i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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