Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
