i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
