OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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