I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
