8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
