I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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