is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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