Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
