perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
