this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
honey bunches of taint.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
