Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
