There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
