I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize