Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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