take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize