He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Randomize
