that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
