Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
