I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
